i am so lonely..
today is one fine day, haha...actually not really so fine...went morning training...halfway lightning and thunder came in and the training stopped...Went to eat breakfast with an old friend of mine, qiaohui...been so long since we met sia...then my mum today didn't work...didn't even bother trying to talk to her...cus i almost like talking to air...been for a month like that le...don't know what's up with her...siao siao one...i don't really care also...She only know how to talk talk talk but don't know how to use her eyes to see things properly...everytime anyhow scold people...bloody hell...this is so fucked up...had steam boat for dinner today...a dinner that does not feel like a dinner...tense feeling throughout the meal...ask my mum what to put...Dao me like siao...then i put what i want...then she shout i got say can put meh...pissed me off...call me a brat...really don't know whats with her...cannot even understand her own son...she can go ahead disown me like she says...I don't have a mum that don't understand me...the mum i know is a very understanding person...she freaking hell not my mum...just one small discommunication...she make it into such a big fuss that lasted so long...She just have to try her ways to get on my nerves...arghhhhh...evening training is also irriating...is like no time to think about stroke...because we must find a way to avoid hitting each other...freaking 12 people sharing one small lane...imagin going on 1.30 and is like 10 seconds apart by the time the 1st person come back the last person haven even go yet...then my dad almost have to make my day worse...nag nag nag non-stop...don't know for what sia...didn't even want to listen to him...when to sleep, also want to nag...when to eat, also want to nag...when to shower, also want to nag...what's up with him also...can't he leave me in peace...doing homework on computer, fucking tell me STOP PLAYING LA, START DOING HOMEWORK...is like i m not playing and u telling me i m playing...what the hell...get the facts right before assuming, can he? At night want to sleep my room, cus his room air con spoil...fucking touch my stuff and anyhow put, then tell me why my room so messy...then got one day my house's kitchen renovating the floor, scare dust put all the small pillow and wateva stuff in my room, then tell me to pack my room properly, too messy...great 1st my room is a store room and now tell me my room messy...what's next...overall mood today kinda pissed off, even though I m like smiling all the time...hey, by now, my friends should know I don't put sad faces in front of people, I only put them on when I am alone...don't wanna people to worry about me...or should i say...This is my problem, don't want to trouble anyone...when the time comes, I will automatically ask for help...I think -_-'''...nowadays even when i at home, i don't feel at home...don't have the happy feeling anymore...all i feel is the coldness and loneliness of this house...never mind...I have been always lonely...maybe I am fated to be lonely for most of my life...who knows